Excalibur…that’s what every man wants. A tool of legendary proportions; phallic in nature; sparks fly when it’s wielded. Hmmm, if only that were the story of male masturbators. Unfortunately, this genre of sex toys is extremely lacking compared to the broad and excellent offerings of the female sex toy market. In the male marketplace, nowhere near the same amount of competition exists as does for the ladies. Interactive Life Forms LLC, the company that owns Fleshlight, owns an enormous share of the sales of ‘pocket pussies’ around the world. I include myself in that statement. I own a Fleshlight. Lizzy and I bought it a couple of years ago. Below is a summary of our relationship with the Classic Fleshlight with the Vortex sleeve. To let you know where the review is headed, I’ll say this…I hope more companies start making wiener massage adjuncts!
I will start with the good. The Fleshlight does what we bought it to do. It makes me cum when I use it or Lizzy uses it to service me. The Vortex sleeve (spiral-looking texture with varied canal diameter) is towards the more intense side of spectrum with respect to Fleshlight’s offerings, although they make several sleeves that climax you earlier, in theory. The decision to get a more aggressive liner in my masturbator was a no-brainer. Lizzy and I have lots of sex, and I didn’t want to be bored with a new toy. In fact, I dare say that when trying, I can cum faster than any other method by using the Fleshlight in “hands-free mode” (e.g. between two pillows, thrusting). It’s really fun to have an instant threesome when Lizzy positions herself on all fours over a set of pillows sandwiching the Fleshlight, too. Just wait until your significant other talks dirty to you about TWO PUSSIES!!! Find some porn to match the scenario and woo hoo, almost as good as the real thing! Blowjobs are also very pleasurable with this toy. The contrast of the liner and Lizzy’s mouth creates a wonderful dynamic. Keep in mind, while saliva can work to lubricate the toy, lube is more or less the only way to go. But it hasn’t been all roses with my Fleshlight…
The reason that I am underwhelmed with the Fleshlight stems from my in-depth exposure to feminine pleasure products. I know a lot about sex toys for women. I know how elaborate the design, materials, functionality, and luxury factors can get with dildos, vibrators, etc. For instance, one of Lizzy’s equivalent toys, as compared to the Fleshlight, for me, is the LELO ELLA. Both toys are penetration toys (inversely proportionate to our privates, obviously), don’t vibrate, and are made by “powerhouse” companies. Unfortuantley, that is where the similarities end. The LELO object is made of silky-smooth silicone, is firm and weighty in the hand, whereas the ABS-type plastic case on the Fleshlight feels like it comes from a dollar store. ELLA feels like it will last for 100 years, while the Vortex sleeve in my toy has grown tears at the start of the vagina. Lizzy’s toy looks like a paper weight for a CEO; the Fleshlight, from its name, down on to the clumsiness of the suction cap’s inability to thread easily feels embarrassing, and certainly not luxurious. I certainly wouldn’t want to show it off or bring it traveling. And don’t even get me started on cleaning it after use! (Floppy mess under the faucet, creases everywhere, dry time, hair/lint magnet, need I say more?) That’s probably why it seldom gets used. Occasionally it’s good enough when Lizzy’s out of town, but I have a feeling it will soon find itself in the land of forgotten and recycled sex toys.
Pros: cum aide, shower capable, use w/ partner or alone, accessories/replacement parts galore…
Cons: feels cheap, porous material (TPE), big & clunky, poor longevity, pain to clean..
Here are some specifics on the Classic Fleshlight with Vortex sleeve from their website…
Canal Diameter: 1/4 inch – 3/4 inch
Length: 10 inches
Diameter: 4 inches to 2.5 inches
Cost: About $70 for liner and case
The quick and dirty:
Our overall impression of the Fleshlight with Vortex sleeve is “MEH”. Yes it makes me cum and Lizzy thinks it’s fun how intense the feeling gets when she pleasures me with it, but it’s just so the opposite of the luxurious bedroom experience that we like to have, that it just doesn’t see the light of day very often. I know Fleshlight has an improved product out with the release of their new Flight toys, and I would be interested to see if they have improved on the shortcomings of their larger toys. But for now, since there isn’t a perfect selection for male masturbators, you may find yourself with one of these, and that’s just fine! You will have lots of fun. We just think it can be done better. It’s not exorbitantly expensive, but I expect more of my boxes checked for $70.
Thanks for reading!
Stay classy, stay naked
M & L
In the interest of full disclosure, we purchased the Fleshlight completely on our own. We were not compensated in any way for this review by ILF LLC.