How to choose a sex toy (1 of 3)

First Purchase…Me, Oh My!

So you have decided that you’d like to expand your bedroom operations to include something beyond what the good Lord gave you, eh? Great decision! You are going to have soooo much fun!

You are probably wet or hard just thinking about the naughty pleasures that await you in your new, expanded sexual world, and you should be! Fun like this is exactly why being a grown up is so awesome!…You’ve encountered a problem, though, haven’t you? In perusing a few adult supply websites you are simply overwhelmed with the sheer number of rings, slings, dongs, and thongs cascading down your computer screen. Well fear not, I have just the guide to walk you through the most important decision making factors to consider when jumping into your first sexy purchase. (I will also review a number of the toys I mention in the coming weeks!) So buckle up and we’ll get to it!

Right now, it’s just our naked parts…what next?

1. What kind of relationship are you in?

The answer to this question will help to scale your purchase decision. Likely, you fall into one of these four relationship categories: single, lightly committed (e.g. dating but don’t live together), seriously committed (e.g. living together after years of dating), or married (which I distinguish little from the prior, aside from maybe some special considerations that go with having say children in the home). Based on where you fall in this spectrum, you’ll know how ‘serious’ you want to get with your first purchase. It will also tell us what type of communication you should have with your partner about this purchase. I will elaborate on each of these considerations below.

Scale of your investment — You want quality. Plain and simple. If you don’t want to regret your decision or your partner to do so, then don’t skimp! This doesn’t mean you need a second mortgage to afford sex toys, but you will notice the purchase. (Think price of a nice date at a fancy restaurant. $50-$250 is what you should expect to spend.) As for price relating to relationship status, keep this in mind: if you are single, the sky is the limit (you’ll keep something nice for a long time!), but keep space in mind (new girlfriend encountering your giant sex doll could be awkward); if you are in a new relationship, you don’t want to scare your partner off with a $2,000 piece of sex furniture that you’ve surprised him or her with unexpectedly, and you also don’t want to spend money on a couple’s toy that might go unused after a break-up (I haven’t had a girlfriend that would be super enthralled to inherit a toy that used to be in my ex’s vagina…just saying); if you’re in the ‘seriously committed’ or ‘marriage’ column, then start small, with the intent to build a nice ‘collection’, that way you can extend the thrill over many years!

Communication about purchase — Making sure you and your partner are on the same page is very important to presenting (remember how key this is?) your kinky new acquisition properly. Things you should talk about include why you want a sex toy (explain how you want to see her/him weak with pleasure), and that you are only considering luxury brands because of their safety, longevity, beauty, and quality. Other important subjects to touch upon include asking about fantasies, finding out what kinds of pleasure your significant other might want to experience, and then being very transparent about meshing both of your desires. This means maybe reading reviews together, handling any questions or concerns that arise in the process very gently, and being open to scaling back on your initial wishes. Compromise is something that will always work in your favor in the sexual arena. If you don’t scare your partner off with the first round of sex toy investment, you will be much more likely to get what you hoped for come round two, three, or four! Also talk about the physical size of a purchase, will you be able to store a dildo neatly in a locked bedside pouch or will you need a new armoire to stash your sex jungle gym inside of? Conversation is good!

Stay tuned…What kind of toy and how to pick one!

Stay naked, stay classy

Mike & Lizzy


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